The other day I had deleted my blog because I just wasn't finding that joy that I used to feel in posting on my blog. After many emails and some friends on facebook I took some time to think and pray about it and have decided maybe I wasn't looking hard enough to find the joy in it. The joy is there it just needs to be looked for and I wasn't doing it. There was also another reason and that has to do with the name of my blog Titus 2 keeper at home with a name like that one would come to the conclusion that my blog is written by some one who lives the Titus 2 life and they would be WRONG!! I am just like everyone else out there trying my best and struggling every day to be a keeper at home. I read other people's blogs and look at what they do and I don't even come close to measuring up to them and then it hit me I don't need to measure up to other people I just need to do my very best to live as God intended for me to. I have been struggling so hard these past few years just to get the minimum things done as far as housework is concerned, I have looked back through my blog and when I read some of my old posts I wonder who the heck that person was and where is she now! Since Roger has been without a job (end of February) I have been doing nothing except getting up really late and I mean late, wathcing tv all day and going to bed really late. I am starting to hate doing this, so with much prayer, lots of encouragement from my good friends and just getting up and doing it, I WILL get up and get back to my old Titus 2 lifestyle, I will still struggle daily but hopefully at the end of the day I will be able to hold my head up high and be proud of what I accomplished that day. I hadn't been posting very much because I felt like a failure. I so much want to be that Titus 2 proverbs 31 woman and I just wasn't achieving it but then was I really trying my hardest probably not. I pray that the Lord will give me the strength to get the things done that need to be done, the wisdom to work efficiently in my home and the courage to tell the truth about my not so wonderful life when it needs to be told.
I am a Titus 2/proverbs 31 struggling late 40's woman who loves God with all her heart, also I Love my husband and children and grandchildren.I want to be someone who my husband and children are proud to call their home keeper. I want God to use me and my home keeping to bless everyone I can.
Are there any struggling women out there?? I have also noticed on blogger that there aren't many women like me, I find lots of women who are younger and have children at home or women my age but still have children at home. My life is way way different than it was when I had small children at home and that has also been something I have been dealing with. Empty nest syndrome is something very hard to just get over. My youngest child Mattie has been gone now for oh about 3 years and I still miss him everyday.
I want to be the best home keeper I can and I plan to do this,it may take me a while and I may struggle everyday but I will do it!
I thank everyone who sent emails about my blog and the encouragement I get from some of my great friends some have blogs and some don't but they are all my friends and I love them for being there for me when I need them the most.